the one & only hello, NAME is me. There are many things that i want to do, despite saying that i will do them after A's, i wonder if i will. teleport chaiyue jolene xavier Daniel michelle cheryl jialing audrey peiwen kevin edison vanessa jovian samantha xueting anne nicholas cass felicia peiqi natalie chaneline elizabeth randy dingyuan elvyn justin CJ alica eirene vivien rishi joanne anabelle leexian darren shijie andrew iqbal joseph bernice ryan kaichuen jocelyn liselle milu arthur ngeederk guanwen marie james roderick menghwee inghian aggie Benji NgeeDerk deborah katrina chengcheng maurice sherrie philip donna qinghuang belmont jiahong zhiyun charlene RCIY Mr Praetorai christus dominus choir TWILIGHT online links take a bow designer:upand-down[c] icon:photobucket whisper

Friday, April 24, 2009 suicide.this word has been appearing in my mind more often these days. perhaps due to the place i'm working where i read cases about just depressed people etc.. thankfully i am afraid to die, or else i'd have been long gone. was just thinking.. between quick and painless death or slow and painful death. and i keep thinking of the later. to feel the life getting out of me. the pain that keeps you alive. the pain that releases. the pain in exchange for eternal ''happiness'' as you rest forever. the physical pain which might not be worst than the mental pain. so it wouldnt be that bad right? but i wouldnt want to mutilate myself in anyways. like jump off? you'll look like some smashed up diguesting pulp. cut yourself? and leave bloody mess behind? haha nah. more along of like. maybe poisoning? your colour will look abit off though. cut off your own air supply? refuse food? haha, quite impossible for me... haiz. promises. what are they. do they still hold? words that are said to pacify? in the end, they just turn into empty promises. the hope given, mulitplied into despair at the end of it all.. fill up the devoid i pray. i need to focus.